Not every human being is capable of being saved. Especially those individuals who don’t want to be saved.
I’ve been through a lot in my 23+ years on this earth, but was always willing to take advice and council from those I deemed wiser and more knowledgeable than me in a certain field. However many people would criticize me and pushed me to focus on myself and become more of an individual. My experience in college was like an emotional roller coaster as I developed my own personal identity. I am not ashamed to admit that in times of complete loneliness I would find myself crying and looking to my parents for help. They were always there for me and this allowed me to keep going.
Once I graduated I recognized the ball was in my court and I could do whatever I wanted with my future. Because of where I grew up there were certain expectations to get a job right away in an industry that went well with my major. I decided to pursue a career in advertising and moved across the country to LA. The gig started out fine, but I quickly realized I wasn’t fitting in to the corporate structure and had to resign after less than a month of working.
Once again my parents were there for me and helped me move back to Chicago. So now here I am. Hungry, determined and trying to re focus on being great. However I have never felt more alone in my life. Imagine if no one in the world understood you and the only way they could label you is by calling you “ BI-POLAR”. Being Bi Polar isn’t always a bad thing but can be extremely frustrating when it is not under control. You are forced to take drugs that make you feel different and lose a lot of your ambition.
Additionally people assume you are bi-sexual and afraid to be around you, cause you may snap at any moment. I am fine with all these labels cause at the end of the day I know myself more than any of you will ever understand me or my struggle. If anyone is still reading this I hope this makes sense.
Going forward I need to work on being honest with those who care for me, and ignore those people who don’t have my best intentions. I promise I will try to be a better person going forward, and have faith that those around me will know how to treat me over time. However, feeling bad for myself is NOT an option.
I apologize for the typos or grammatical errors but honestly I don’t give a fuck.